Each year, among the lifeguards, we decide on a water park hoe. A person can obtain this title by sleeping with a lot of lifeguards, getting in multiple relationships with lifeguards, having the most drama-filled relationship involving others, or even all three. In years past we have had more than once a year, but this year we were all able to give it to one person. Now, although I can not reveal her actual name, for the story as to how she got the title this year, we will call her Cathy.

Her first act towards receiving this title was simply getting in her first relationship, we will call him Devin. Devin was one of the funniest lifeguards we had. Although he rarely watched his water, he was a pretty cool guy, so most of us would only get on to him when he was really not paying attention to the guest. From what we could tell he did enjoy dating Cathy. He did not come into work as hungover and even would watch the water without anything distracting him unless she came around. The two lasted about a month before her second fling started. Cathy, while with Devin, decided she was going to get with Hunt, a guy who was about as dumb as they come. Once it went public that she cheated, Cathy and Devin were officially over, but the next day she came in with a huge hickey, along with small other ones, all on her. Of course, Hunt took credit for them, and that is when we realized, she was in the running for water park hoe.

Cathy and Hunt lasted shorter than her and Devin. Devin started coming to work hungover again and cared about nothing. Hunt was living it up with Cathy and them two came into worked marker up constantly. We all felt bad for Devin because he got dumped for a guy who got his arm cut open during a fight that he lost, and could barely form a full sentence without saying um at least five times. We all knew something was up though when Hunt was barely talking, and neither he or Cathy had marks on them anymore, that is how we knew that was over.

Cathy came in one day with another guy, who we never thought would get with her. Chance was a lifeguard for two years, and although he had plenty of girls to choose from, he would never get with the, because he wanted a commitment and loyalty. Two things Cathy was clearly not good at. The two became a thing, and it was the happiest we had ever seen him. Chance had finally found a girl that made him happy. She was absolutely everything to him, and there was not a single thing he would not have done for her. Chance was going into the marines though because that was a big part of his dreams. He walked up to Cathy one day and told her how much he cared about her and wanted to give her the best life he could provide. She then proceeded to tell him that it was sweet of him to say, but she only considered him a summer fling. After telling him that Cathy walked away, and was now back on the market again. This led Chance down a dark road of constant crying, and alcohol became his best friend.

After Chance, Cathy decided to get with his best friend Derick. Derick was your typical party guy. He flunked out of college, was known for drugging and doing things with girls, and he was even known for having multiple STD’s. Her and Derick seemed like a quiet a terrific match considering how she hurt multiple people already. Derick always came in late and drunk, but that did not seem to bother Cathy at all because she would join him on some days. The two did not last very long though, because as the summer was coming towards an end, Cathy broke up with Derick just to get back with Devin for a couple of more bang sessions before she decided she was going to get back with Derrick with only one guy in between that for the fall.

Cathy was definitely one of the most complex stories, but the sun makes you do some very crazy things. It was through all of these flings, that Cathy got to take home the title of Water Park Hoe for the 2019 season. In spite of all these things, Cathy was still one of the better lifeguards. She will be returning in the 2020 season, so who knows what this season might hold.